I found a newspaper with these useless questions to ponder. It became useless to me when I lost the newspaper itself so I decided to try and find some online. Thanks to CrazyThoughts.Com, here are some of their useless question to ponder.

– Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you’re standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn’t you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

– Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

– Why is a square meal served on round plates?

– Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

– Which way does a compass point in space?

– Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can’t we run outside naked?

– Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

– If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

– Why did Mary own a little lamb?

– If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

– Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?

– If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

– If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, “I wish you would not grant me this wish” what would you do?

– Why are Pringles curved?

– What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

– Why aren’t safety pins as safe as they say they are?

– If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

– Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

– Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?

– Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? –

– Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

– Can bald men get lice??

– How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?

– Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?

– Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

– Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

– Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren’t they just different forms of water?

– Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?

– If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver’s license?

– How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don’t take off the price if you get something taken off?

– Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

– Why is it that if something says, “do not eat” on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

– If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn’t you be able to go anywhere you want?

– If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it’s 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

– What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?

– If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

– Do pyromaniacs wear blazers?

– If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

– How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides?

– Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

– Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

– When something’s funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?

– Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?

– Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

– If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?

– Why is “number” abbreviated as “no”? When there is no “o” in number?- Why do they call the small candy bars the “fun sizes”? Wouldn’t be more fun to eat a big one?

– Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?

– Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America’s problems?

– Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?

– If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?

– If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

– Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?

– If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

– How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

– Do the air bubbles that are created when you fart in water, smell when they pop?

– When a boy is named after his dad, he is called ‘Junior,’ but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

– Just what was the “Baby On Board” sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

– Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?

– If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

– Can you cry under water?

– If all of the Acme stuff doesn’t work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

– 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

– Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

– Why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going too ?

– Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it’s really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

– Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

– Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa’s suit is red and white?

– Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?

– Since there is a rule that states “i” before “e” except after “c”, wouldn’t “science” be spelled wrong?

– If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?

– If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?

– Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says “adult” is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?

– Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

– Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

– Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

– Do stuttering people stutter when they’re thinking to themselves?

– If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?

– Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

– How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it’s illegal to keep them as a pet?

– What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

– Can someone give up lent for lent?

– Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?

– Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

– Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

– Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?

– What did cured ham actually have?

– If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?

– If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?

– If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?

– Can a blind man see his future?

– Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

– Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?

– Can you write in pencil on an eraser?

– How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

– Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?

– Can you blow a balloon up under water?

– Can crop circles be square?

– How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?

– Why are there black lines on a basketball?

– Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?

– Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

– If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

– If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?

– Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

– When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?

– If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say “30 minutes” then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you??

– Why isn’t the word ‘gullible’ in the dictionary?

– When you see the weather report and it says “partly cloudy” and then the next day it says “partly sunny”; what’s the difference?

– Can a person choke and die on a life savor?

– Why are women and men’s shoe sizes different?

– What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who’s name is Jack?

– If you took a compass to outer space would it still point “magnetic north”? Is there still a north, south, east, and west in space?

– Why is it illegal to put money in other people’s parking meters?

– Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?

– Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?

– Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?

– Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?

– Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?

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